


Guilty Ford Au

by pinkshadow147



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Guilt, Guilty Ford AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-27 05:10:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9972275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkshadow147/pseuds/pinkshadow147
Summary: Based off of this post -http://skaleigha.tumblr.com/post/151499362222/guilty-ford-auAfter Weirdmegeddon, Stanford comes to recognize all his past mistakes and deals with the guilt.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [skaleigha](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=skaleigha).



> I don't really 'blame' Ford for stuff. I'm not into that. I DO think he's been a knucklehead sometimes, and that that's pretty funny. And also endearing. But I enjoy EMOTIONAL TURMOIL, so I just had to attack this.

"Wait! Wait! I have more things to jog your memory Grunkle Stan!" Mabel jumped off the couch and ran out of the room.

"I think I might too, actually. Just give me one second guys. Mabel wait for me!" Dipper made his way after his sister.

Soos straightened as he watched them go.

"Dudes, I totally have all sorts of stuff in the break-room. I hope it isn't like - crushed by the weirdness or somethin', but it could help too."

"The break room?" Stanley readjusted himself in his chair. "Soos we don't _have_ a break-room."

Soos waved his hands.

"No, no Mr. Pines. It's that one room I found when I was cleaning the shack. Remember?"

"What? Oh yeah. Heh, it's all coming back now."

Everyone heard a squeel of glee from across the house.

"GRUNKLE STAN! WE'RE MOVING THIS OUTSIDE. I FOUND MORE FIREWORKS! _DIPPER_! GET MY ELECTION SWEATER. AND GRAB THE CAMERA. SCRAPBOOKERTUNITY!"

Stan tossed back his head and laughed.

"The election. Ug, I remember that too."

Ford walked around the couch.

"Oh yes. The election. How did that go? I never got the chance to ask."

Stanley forced himself to his feet with a groan.

" _Terrible_. Something about dynamite, and a 'mind control tie'? Right? I still won though. I think?"

Ford's spirits dropped.

" ... tie?"

"You won by a landslide Mr. Pines!" Soos said. "But you got disqualified. Tyler 's the mayor."

Stan smack his head.

" _Right_. Disqualified. But hey - let's go blow stuff up!"

Soos shoved his fists into the air.

"Yeah!"

Dipper and Mabel raced past the hall, gesturing for them to follow. Soos and Stanley went, but Ford hung back.

He watched them head outside and heard the beginnings of sprinklers being lit off. He looked down at his six fingered hands with a frown. 

***

"Alright everyone! Into the car! We're going into town!" Mabel hopped over something and jumped to Stanley's side. "Come on Grunkle Stan, we gotta revisit all of Gravity Falls!"

Dipper came up with a set of keys. 

"It'll help re-jog your memory."

Mabel started pulling at Stan's sleeve and he waved her off.

"Alright, alright. I'm coming, just gotta grab my coat." Stan scratched his head. "Where'd I put that?"

Dipper pointed to towards the exit. "It's by the door. Come one let's _go_."

Stan rolled his eyes and they all headed out. Ford stepped into the kitchen. He looked up from his book to see the last of them slip away.

"Where's everyone going?"

His question fell on empty air. The place was empty. He glanced out the window to see them getting in the car. Ford took a step forward, then stopped. He rubbed his ear, shoulders tensing for a moment, then looked away. He walked back, throwing a last look over his shoulder before retreating.

They didn't want him going, otherwise they'd have invited him. He'd just ... stay at the shack and hold down the fort. Wait for them to come back. Then he could join them in something else. Ford lowered his head and made his way back to his room. He glanced around at all the objects lying around the house and smiled. Stanley had instilled himself into every inch of the building. His brother had really made his mark on the place.

Ford's throat grew tight at remembering the fight he'd had with Stan when he first came back in through the portal. The insistence on making him leave. That had been a mistake.

Without realizing it, Ford seemed to have made quite a few of those.

***

Everyone came back in a loud display of shouts and laughs in the kitchen. Ford looked up from his book and let his eyes wander to his door. A smile spread across his face and he stood to leave. His hand froze on the knob as his eyes caught the glint of a prism resting on his shelf. A shiver ran down his spine and he stepped back.

The laughing in the other room continued. Without him. Ford frowned.

They didn't need him did they? If anything, his family was better off with _out_ him. All he needed to do was to listen to how happy they sounded. All he needed was to remember the many stories the kids had been retelling Stan about their adventures before Ford arrived. All he needed was to summon the memory of Weirdmegaddon to recall his many, _many_ mistakes.

He'd made so many mistakes.

"Hey, wait - where is ... ?" Mabel's voiced drifted passed his door.

Ford paused and listened for the rest.

"Soos! Soos, come here! Get in on this!"

Ford let out a breath and put his face in his hand with a smile. They didn't need him.

He turned back to the machines and proposals scattered around. It was the question of where to start. Picking a random project, Ford sat back down to work. But as he thought of how to perfect his effort, his mind drifted. Thoughts of his failures took over.

Ford let the objects in his hands slip through his fingers and leaned back as his attention wandered.

***

 He pulled a long sip from his glass. The nightmare had been so vivid. Fear still clung to his chest and he refilled his cup. The yellow had been so bright. The shouts of the kids and his brother so real. Phantom pains echoed across his body. The jolt of electricity. He took another few deep gulps of his water.

The sound of creaking wood broke through the silence of the night and Ford whirled. He found himself face to face with his brother.

"Stanley?"

Stan eyed him, and then went for the cupboard.

"Uh, yeah. Yeah that's - that's me." He pulled out a glass. "At least," he filled it and took a sip. "I think so. Right?"

Ford's eyes widened.

"Stanley, do you remember who I am?"

Stan shrugged.

"Uh, sure." he pointed, hand still gripping his cup. "F - ... Fow - Ford. Yeah. Hey, what are you doing up so late?"

Ford straightened.

"I could ask you the same thing."

Stan smiled as he brought his drink to his lips.

"Heh. Guess you could." he tipped the cup.

"Stanley?"

"Hm?"

"What _are_ you doing up so late?"

Stan shrugged.

"Dunno."

"Is it your memory? Is it troubling you? Did something happen, or did you remember something? Are you alright? Do you need anything?"

Stan just shrugged again.

"Maybe?" His eyes wandered around the dark room. "I just ... wanted a drink." He glanced back at Ford. "But I didn't expect to see _you_. Nice though. F ... - Fuh - Nerd." he tapped his nose with a smile, then let his arm drop. "Anyway. Get some sleep." Stan put his cup down and turned to walk away. "You look terrible."

Ford stared after him. He looked into his cup, then let out a sigh.

***

"Oie nerd! You in there?" Stan pounded on the door.

Ford looked over, confused.

"Um, yes. I'm here. What do you need?"

"You got a visitor!"

Ford frowned.

"Visitor?"

_Who would visit me? Who would even **want** to?_

He got up and opened his door. Stan tugged him through and dragged him to the living room. Ford stopped cold as he was confronted with his old friend, Fiddleford McGucket.

"Stanford!" Fiddleford grinned wide at him.

Ford let a small smile pull at his lips.

"Hello Fiddleford."

Stan let go of Ford's wrist.

"So you two do Nerd stuff, and I'll go, _not_ get bored outta my mind." and he left the room.

Ford was left staring at a man he barely recognized. He hadn't seen Fiddleford since the end of Weirdmegeddon. He'd apologized before, but now so many more memories of all the times he'd been such a bad friend began to surface. He stood there, awkward, as Fiddleford took the initiative to pull out great heaps of papers out of his pockets.

"I've been thinking of sellin' muh inventions to the government! And I was a wonderin' what ya think."

Ford blinked owlishly.

"What ... what _I_ think?"

"Yup!"

"Well ... I mean - you're brilliant Fiddleford. I think - that's a _brilliant_ idea."

"Yeah?" Fiddleford dropped his papers, letting them scatter across the ground. "I was also thinkin' maybe you migh' look over muh work. For old times sake?"

Ford picked up one of the blueprints. He had to put a hand over his mouth to hide his smile. The equations on it were just as amazing as Ford remembered, but there were small nonsense additions that could only be described as humorous. If they all looked the way the one this one did, then they would be in dire need of revising.

Ford nodded.

"Okay. That sounds _great_ , Fiddleford. Let's get to work."

His friend beamed.

***

"Um ... yes. Well, you'd have to ask him yourself, but his memories are returning remarkably fast." Ford crossed out a few lines with his red pen.

"Look at me. Thirty years with that thing. Can't even remember how it works." Fiddleford finished another equation with a flourish of his hand.

"Yes, well." he thought hard about a correction he was about to make, and barely registered the next words that came out of his mouth. "I _did_ tell you it was a bad idea, didn't I?"

Fiddleford paused in his work, his hand dropping.

"Yeah. Yeah I suppose ya did."

Ford looked up at the tone of his friend's voice, and noticed his mournful expression. Ford remembered himself and raced to backtrack his words. Fiddleford held up his hands with a sad smile.

"No, no. It's alright. That's all in the past now, ya hear? Let's just - move on. 'Specially with this here work. There's a lot to do."

Ford nodded, but a lump stuck in his throat. The rest of the evening was spent with Ford tense, watching his every word, and Fiddleford more subdued than usual - if only a little. The sky outside grew dark and Ford help his friend gather his things.

"Tomorrow, you an' the kids should come 'round the lake!" Fiddleford shifted his papers in his arms. "Bring the whole family!"

Next to them, Stan came up to show him out.

"Uh, yeah sure McGucket. Sounds like a blast. Kids'll love it. Their leaving at the end of the week, so - you know."

"Great! See ya tomorrow Stanford! Take care!"

Ford put up a thin smile and waved as his friend left. Stan shut the door. Turning he yelled into the house. 

"Hey kids! Heads up! We're going to the lake tomorrow!"

Ford flinched away and put a hand to his ear. 

***

"Mabel, it's the lake. We're not moving to mexico." Dipper pulled a swimsuit and sunscreen out of her pile she dropped onto the table. " _This_. This is all you need."

"Dipper, I have a whole _plan_ set up! I need all of this!"

Stanley patted her head. 

"Bring whatever you like sweetie, but I'm not carrying any of it."

Mabel saluted.

"You got it boss!" She stuck her tongue out at Dipper.

Ford watched from his place at the table. He ate his breakfast, and scribbled in a notebook he had found. Mabel began to spread her things out.

"Grunkle Ford, could you - move your stuff. I need room to organize my glitter bomb, and my floaties, and my scissors, and my - ,"

"Well, Mabel dear, I'm - I'm eating, and I'm writing in a - ,"

"Please? Please, please, _please_?"

Ford looked into his great-niece's eyes and felt a churning his gut for even _thinking_ of telling her no. He nodded.

"Of course. Take all the room you need." He picked his things up and moved them.

"Great! Cause I've also got this rope, and a seashell, and a few spoons, and - ,"she filled the whole table with her objects.

Ford tried to lean away, and ended up just putting the rest of his food on the counter. He wasn't quite as hungry anymore. He kept thinking about yesterday's incident, and how he'd have to endure it all over again _today_. Why would Fiddleford invite him anywhere? Or was it just his family he wanted to see? That was more likely, right?

His family. He looked over at the three of them, sitting there. They looked so content. A cold sensation gripped his heart as he felt the strongest desire to just slip away. Leave them be. Not ruin their lives anymore than he already had.

"Hey, uh - " Stan pointed towards the counter. "Poindexter. Pass the syrup." 

***

"But it turns out it was just McGucket in a large machine, so that was a disappointment."

Ford shook his head.

"But Dipper. The Gobblewonker _is_ real. I've yet to verify how dangerous it is, but I'm sure if you got caught in the waters alone, you'd catch a glimpse. It might even - _eat you_." Ford made a spooky gesture with his fingers and smiled.

Dipper swallowed and looked out at the lake.

"So you're saying - that whole time we could have been in terrible danger without even _realizing_ it?"

Ford frowned.

"N - not exactly. That - that wasn't the point of - ,"

Dipper started to wring his hands as he eyed his sister wading in the water.

"Dipper, I was just - ,"

"Uh, yeah. Here, sorry, I just have to - ," Dipper walked off and did a small sprint towards his sister.

Ford leaned back and watched as they got into a heated conversation. His face fell and he pulled in his knees. He looked over to see Stanley talking with a few other people on the lake. His brother got a drink dumped over his head for whatever reason, but then he pulled back and smiled to himself as he brandished a newly acquired wallet.

Ford chuckled. It felt good to see Stanley again. He wrapped his arms around his legs and stayed in the shadow of the trees. Everyone else splashed and laughed and looked to be having fun. Even Dipper and Mabel seemed to have worked something out.

Without him.

They really were better without him.

Ford picked at the grass with his six fingers. 

***

He could hear them eating from his room. Whatever dinner was, it seemed to be a hit. The kids were talking, mouths full, about the day's adventures at the lake.

He _would_ eat with his family. He _would_. He had a right to, didn't he? Ford swallowed, his nervous tension rising. He shook his head and forced himself out of his room, a smile plastered on his face.

He entered the kitchen and picked up a plate. Stanley stopped mid-bite and raised his brow at Ford's uneasy expression, but Dipper turned at his presence.

"Great Uncle Ford - tell Mabel that crab polar bears don't exist, but that if they _did_ , they wouldn't live in the _lake_."

"Grunkle Ford, tell Dip-dop that Polarcrabs need suntans just as much as anyone else."

Ford gave a nervous glance between them unsure how to proceed. He saw Stanley finish another bite, eyes still trained on his brother and his strange behavior. Ford opted to get his food to buy himself time. Too soon he slid into a chair and faced his grand-nibling's expectant stares. Ford cleared his throat.

"Um, well you see ... ," he bounced his knee, and took a bite. Too soon and he swallowed. "I suppose 'Polarcrabs' _do_ need suntans Mabel - ,"

She stuck her tongue out at Dipper. Ford went on.

"But they certainly wouldn't come to Oregon for that. Mexico maybe."

Dipper crossed his arms and shot Mabel an 'I told you so' look. They started to bicker and Ford shrank back in his chair. It seemed he wasn't so good at bringing people together. 

***

There was bump and a clanging sound that came from the living room. Ford slipped out of his bed and drew his weapon. Whatever it was, he'd take care of it. This he could do. In the dead of night when the rest of his family was asleep, Ford could protect them.

He crept down the hall and hugged the corner. More rustling could be heard and Ford whirled, blaster trained on his target.

There was a high scream, followed by a slew of sobs. Ford raised his weapon, eyes wild as he tried to figure out what was going on. He looked down to see Mabel, curled up in one of her sweaters.

"Mabel?" he did a quick glance around, only to discern there was no other threat, and holstered his blaster.

Heavy feet made their way across the hall, and Stan came in.

"Alright, what's going on?"

A jumbled of steps echoed down the stairs and Dipper was next to arrive.

"Mabel?"

Everyone stared at the girl crying on the floor. Dipper rushed over to her.

"Mabel, what happened? What are you doing down here?"

"I - I had a n-n-nightmare." she wiped a few tears from her eyes. "And - and then I got scared. I - I thought - and Ford - he - a-a-and - ,"

Dipper shushed her and pulled her into a hug. Stanley shot a confused glance at Ford.

"What are you doing up Stanford?"

Ford swallowed.

"I heard noises. I - I thought maybe - ,"

Stanley ran a hand down his face.

"Alright. Bed. Everyone. Now."

Dipper helped his sister up, and the twins gave him equal glances full of resignation. Stan put a hand on both their backs and nudged them towards the stairs.

"Mabel sweetie, I'll be up with a - I dunno a glass of milk. Just give me sec."

The young twins nodded, and Stan turned back to Ford.

"Stanley - ,"

"Bed Stanford."

Ford swallowed back his response and turned back to his room. Stanley headed the opposite direction. 

***

Ford walked into the kitchen and eyed the twins eating breakfast. They were going over birthday ideas and had papers scattered all across the table. Stanley was at the stove. He looked up at his brother's entrance.

"Mornin'."

The twins glanced up at him, then looked away.

"Grunkle Ford?" Mabel played with the edge of her sweater.

Ford crossed his arms over his stomach and swallowed.

"Yes Mabel?"

"I'm sorry about waking you up last night - ,"

"No, no Mabel," Ford waved his hands for her to stop. "You were having a nightmare. It's perfectly understandable." Ford could probably guess whose fault it was for her troubled sleep. "I - I apologize too. For scaring you."

Mabel bit her lip and looked thoughtful for moment. The she nodded.

"Okay." She went back to eating her breakfast and organizing.

Dipper kept his head down, focus stuck on the food he was picking at.

Ford side-eyed the table, then went to sit down. He found that all the seats were filled with supplies. He picked up a few of things of the chair and gestured to it.

"Dipper, may I - ?"

Dipper glanced up. His eyes scanned the table.

"Uh, right. I guess. Here let me just - ," he began to arrange some things.

The tightness in his chest twisted, and Ford put the objects back. He was only inconveniencing them being there, and suddenly he wasn't as hungry as before.

Stanley turned.

"Hey Ford - ,"

"I'll be in the basement." Ford stepped away.

They glanced up at him with confused looks. Ford avoided their gaze.

"If - if anyone ... needs me - I'll be in the basement." He turned and caught sight of Stanley's disgruntled expression before retreating to the downstairs. 

***

He threw his tool across the room and sank to the floor.

He couldn't work. He couldn't think. He couldn't _breath_. He put his head between his knees and tried to ease his ragged intakes of air.

He'd been such a fool. How could he have _ever_ thought he was the hero? Just look at what he'd done. Summoning a _demon_. Almost causing the end of the _world_. Putting those kids in danger. If it wasn't for Stanley ...

Stanley was the real hero.

And look how he had treated his brother. He'd been _awful_. How could he have ever thought Stanley was nothing but a selfish jerk? He had shut him out of his life for almost a decade, but Stanley had still spent so long trying to bring him back. And Ford couldn't even _thank_ him till they were under threat of an _apocalypse_.

He really should just leave. They'd be better off without him. But then what about Stanley's memories? He needed to stay. To help look after his brother.

He wrapped his arms further around himself.

Who was to say he wasn't making things worse? No one _wanted_ him there. Why would they? Why would anyone want to be around the man who ruined their life? Almost ended the world? Caused the entire town to get ravaged by a monstrous yellow triangle?

Why would Fiddleford? Or the kids? Or Stanley?

But he couldn't leave. To be honest - he didn't _want_ to leave. He finally had people in his life that he could _trust_. People he could count on.

But the problem was. Could they trust him?

***

After a much needed nap, and another nightmare, Ford found himself in his study. Wandering around, gaze glued to the walls. The many eyes watched him there. A shiver ran down his spine.

But Cipher was gone. He'd been defeated by Stanley's sacrifice, and now he could no longer haunt Ford or anyone else. But if he had never been summoned in the first place ...

He sank into a chair and put his head in his hands. So many failures. So many mistakes. Ford could work a lifetime, and still never make up for everything he'd done. He looked at the image of his muse and cringed. All the tapestries and statues made in Cipher's image. They were all a single cry of accusation against him.

Ford felt miserable. But he supposed that was the point. He deserved nothing less than the queasy churning in his gut. Than the tightness of his throat and the hollow feeling in his chest.

Upstairs his family was getting on just fine without him. Ford was tasked with staying away. Keeping out of their lives as much as possible. He didn't want to make things worse than he already had.

He was alone. He wished he could visit with them. The kids wouldn't be in Gravity Falls much longer. And once they left ... what would he do then? Hide away from Stanley? Keep out of his brother's way? For the rest of their lives?

Ford put a hand to his face, eyes brimming with tears.

The impossible amount of time seemed to stretch out in front of him. They were getting old, yes, but the few decades left felt like an eternity. An eternity spent living with this guilt. Bearing this weight. Saving his brother from having to deal with him and his mistakes.

Ford swallowed back his tears and straightened. He would have to. And he would do it bravely. He never wanted to to hurt anyone ever again. 

***

There was a knock on the door.

"Hey Ford. You in there?"

Ford looked up at the sound of Stanley's voice.

"S-Stanley? Do you need anything?"

"Get out here poindexter."

Ford tensed. His mind raced to discover what could be wrong. He ended up walking over and slipping out of the room. The image of his brother, arms crossed, greeted him.

"You said you'd be in the basement."

Ford rubbed the back of his neck.

"I apologize."

"What's in there?"

Ford shook his head.

"Nothing. It's just - my private study."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes. Nothing you need concern yourself with."

"Right ... ," Stan glanced at him up and down. "So ... the kids wanna go into the woods."

Ford nodded.

"Have a good time."

Stan frowned.

"You don't wanna come?"

Ford's brows furrowed. 

"Should I?"

Stanley rolled his eyes.

" _Yes_ genius." He whacked the back of Ford's head, making him duck. "Come on, let's go."

Ford paused. He looked down at his hands and played with his extra fingers. Stan stopped and looked back.

"Hey, uh. You don't have to if you don't wanna. If you're busy or somethin'."

Ford let his eyes wander. The real question was - did _Stanley_ want him to?

Stan saw his brother's hesitation and let out a sigh.

"Just get out here already. You've just given up your choice in the matter. Come on - let's go. Kids won't wait all day."

Ford gave a mute nodded and walked past him. They made their way upstairs to see Mabel and Dipper waiting. Dipper uncrossed his arms.

"Huh, alright. Let's go then."

"Finally - let's go!" Mabel grabbed her things and ran out.

***

 The kids seemed to enjoy running around. It was nice to watch them enjoy a good time. Dipper even paused to ask him a question. He didn't even notice Mabel give Stanley the grappling hook. The next thing Ford knew, Stanley had grabbed him and pulled them into the trees.

Down below the younger twins laughed. Ford smiled. Stan smiled back at him. Then Ford remembered himself and stepped away. He supposed he should keep his distance. He might ruin things if he got too involved.

Stanley watched him, and his face fell.

"Was it something I did?"

Ford slipped, and made the tree shake against their weight.

"What?"

"Look, I know you were upset there for a while, but I thought ... I thought maybe we were good now."

Ford's eyes widened in panic.

"Stanley, no. _No_. You didn't do anything wrong. You're amazing. You've been nothing _but_ amazing. _Thank you_."

Stan's face twisted in confusion.

"I mean - that's really nice to hear - ,"

Ford flinched. Because of course it was. Ford never used to say it before.

" - but that doesn't explain why you've been avoiding me like the plague."

Ford stilled. He didn't know what to do with this. He'd thought - that Stanley would be _relieved_ Ford would stay away.

"I - I apologize if I made you feel unwanted. That wasn't my intention. I ... ," Ford bit his lip.

"Well, you _kinda_ did. But 's okay though. And you know, you can tell me what's eating at you. Or not. You're choice I guess."

"I apologize. Thank you Stanley."

Stan gave him a another look through narrowed eyes. He let out a sigh.

"Fine." Then he shook his head. "Alright, alright. Come on," he grinned at Ford. "Let's see what we can do about getting two old men outta this tree."

***

"Grunkle Ford?"

Ford stopped in the doorway to the shop and turned to look at Mabel.

"Yes?"

His niece held up her arms to display the vast array of creative supplies she was holding. 

"Grunkle Stan said to ask if I can paint your hand to look like a turkey!"

Ford blinked, taken aback by the request. He looked around, hoping for an escape. Mabel dropped her arms, expression hurt.

"Or not."

Ford choked on a rising sense of guilt. He gave Mabel a small smile.

"Of course my dear. Have at it."

Her face broke into a smile and she raced forward, dragging him by the arm to the table. Ford winced. She was surprisingly strong. They spent the next hour laughing together as she made his fingers into feathers. Stanley walked in and handed them slices of cheep pizza.

"Eat up you two." he turned to head out.

Mabel beamed.

"Thanks Grunkle Stan!"

Ford smiled at his brother and used his free hand to grab a piece.

"Yes, thank you Stanley." He took a bite.

Stan paused and looked over his should. He looked Ford up and down, then glanced at Mabel. A smile spread across his face.

"No problem. Nerds gotta eat too." he turned back around. "Speaking of which. Where's Dipper?" He left.

"Hey Grunkle Ford?" Mabel ate a piece of her food. "Do you think turkeys like pizza?"

Ford put down his slice and raised his hand to his chin.

"I don't know. I think they might get sick."

"Waddles likes pizza. Don't you Waddles?" She turned and fed a slice to the pig that had appeared.

Ford smiled as the animal ate out of his niece's hand.

"Yes. He sure seems to be enjoying that." He chuckled.

Mabel grinned at him. 

***

"Movie night marathon! Come on, everyone towards the couch!"

Ford glanced around at Stanley's exclamation.

_Movie night ... ?_

"Wahoo! I call the right side of the chair!" Mabel shouted.

"Mabel, does it matter?" Dipper ran out of another room.

"Yes it matters! It's sooo important!"

Stanley walked out of the kitchen with a bowl of popcorn. He looked at Ford and raised a brow.

"You gonna actually join us Poindexter?"

Soos walked in.

"Dudes. I've got the perfect movie we can watch."

Mabel jumped over to him.

"Soos! Get in on this!" She grabbed his arm and ran into the living room.

Dipper came up to the entryway and waved the man child over.

"Come on. Soos! Soos! Soos!"

Soos grinned.

"I don't know what we're cheering about, but alright dudes."

Ford smiled and watched everyone run around. He looked over at his brother and thought about his question. Stanley rolled his eyes at the chaos and headed into the living room. Ford took a step forward, then stopped. Should he?

No. They didn't want him in there. But then - Stanley did _ask_. Or maybe that was a slip in judgement. A lull in his memory. Maybe he was regretting his words now, and hoped Ford would just forget about it and leave.

There was another laugh, and some angry grumbles from the living room. Ford twisted his fingers in his sweater. A moment later and he strode into the room. Stanley looked up at him with a raised brow and a smile.

"Nice to see you could join us." He threw his thumb to his side at the dinosaur head. "You sit _there_." He leaned into his chair, just to show Ford how much more comfortable it was and put on a smug grin.

"Mr. Pines, what about me?" Soos gave Stan an expectant smile.

Stan thought about it.

"Floor I guess?"

"Alright let's do it!"

Dipper and Mabel whooped, and Stan's grin grew at the enthusiasm. Ford smiled too. He sat down and for the rest of the night enjoyed time with his family. 

***

Dipper walked over to Ford with a bag

"Great Uncle Ford?"

"Yes Dipper?"

"I - I have something to show you."

Ford gave his nephew a confused smile. Dipper smiled back, then clenched and unclenched his hands, before opening his bag. He pulled out a Journal. Stanford's Journal. And then another. And then another. He held all three books in his hands.

"I found your journals in the woods the other day."

Ford's mouth opened in shock. Dipper let his eyes avoid his great uncle.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about them before. But I went through them all and read them, and was just so amazed that they were _back,_ and - ,"

"Um," Ford shook his head and interrupted. "No, it's - it's fine my boy." he reached out his hand and Dipper gave him the books. "Absolutely fine I ... ," he looked over their covers. They were back?

Dipper shifted on his feet, then turned to walk away.

"Um, so - okay then. There you go."

"Thank you Dipper." he gave his nephew a grateful nod.

Dipper shot a weak smile back, then walked away. Ford turned to his journals and walked to his room. Opening up the first he flipped through it.

A while later and he sat on his bead surrounded by the golden shape of six-fingered hands. Looking at his words from so long ago ... they held such a different meaning. His throat tightened. He'd been so ignorant. A fool. A man guided by his ego. Selfish and uncaring for his family.

Even the entries from when he came back through the portal. Stanley - hero or idiot? The answer was hero. A million times hero. But at the time. Idiot had been his answer.

Ford lowered his head, overridden with shame.

*** 

He stepped into the gift shop, mind wandering.

"Hey," Stanley came up to him. "Shack 's closed."

Ford gave a small nod, mind still else where. He looked over at the window. Stanley stepped in front of him.

"Did you hear me? I said the Shack 's closed."

Ford raised a brow and glanced at his brother.

"Yes. I am aware Stanley."

Stan's eyes widened. His face turned angry.

"Listen pal." he snatched Ford's arm and tried to drag him towards the door.

Ford dug in his heels.

"S-Stanley? What are you - ?"

"That's not my name." Stan hissed. "You got it wrong. Now - ," he flung the door open. " - get out." He pushed Ford. "And don't come back."

Before he could slam the door, Dipper stepped in.

"Grunkle Stan? Is everything okay?"

Stanley shot Ford a glare, then relaxed and turned back to his nephew.

"Fine Dipper. Just gettin' rid of a customer."

Ford and Dipper shared at look. Dipper stepped forward.

"Grunkle Stan, that's not a customer."

Ford put a hand in the doorway.

"Stanley - ,"

Stan looked at Ford with narrowed eyes, and Ford swallowed hard.

" _Lee_. It's me. Stanford."

Dipper came up and put a hand on Stan's arm.

"You're twin brother. Don't you remember him Grunkle Stan?"

Stanley looked between his brother and his nephew, confused and full of suspicion. He straightened and picked his next words carefully.

"And what twin brother might that be? Eh?"

Ford came closer. 

"Stanley - it's me. W-we grew up in Glass Shard Beach, New Jersey. We hung out all the time. You're favorite food was always those chewy toffee peanuts."

Dipper nodded.

"You broke his science project, remember? Got estranged for a decade. Lost him to the portal for another three?"

Ford glanced at Dipper, then at his brother. A cold weight began to settle beneath his skin.

"I - I started the apocalypse. Remember?" He clenched his jaw and gripped Stan's arm. "I watched you get kicked out of the house. I turned my back on you." His shoulders tensed and the words began to flow. "I summoned a demon. P-put the kids in danger. You were working on that stupid portal for thirty years. And when you finally got me back, I punched you in the _face_. I - I thought horribly of you. Couldn't even put my pride aside long enough to _save the world_. And it led to me having to erase your memory. Erase _you_ \- I had to pull the memory gun on you - !" he breathing hitched and he looked up with wild eyes.

Dipper and Stan were staring at him bewildered.

Ford took a single step back,

and ran. 

***

He didn't know where he's going. Flying past trees and swerving around branches, his body kicked into auto-pilot. Decades of running had Ford well prepared to flee. To race away from all his problems and never deal with the issues trailing behind him.

It wasn't until he had covered about a mile and half at a dead sprint, before Ford stopped and put his hands on his knees. He sucked in deep breaths, lungs seemingly on the verge of collapse. Until he noticed the tears trailing down his face, and realized he was trying to restrain sobs.

He stumbled forward and looked around him. There was nothing but green pines. He was lost. He was so, so lost. He shook his head and kept moving. He always had to keep moving. To keep working towards his goal.

What goal did he have now? What was he working towards? What purpose did he serve if he was only going to keep making mistakes? If he couldn't even fix the mistakes he'd made?

Thirty years of trying to stop Cipher. And he'd failed. Thirty years of trying to be the one who came out as hero.

He fit better as the villain.

His tired legs tripped over a root and he crashed into the dirt. His head spun. He tried to push himself up. His arms slipped out from under him and he fell with a sob.

The tears flowed free. He was breathing through choked whimpers. He laid in the dirt and put his head between his arms. Ford wept. 

***

"Grunkle Stan, are we gonna go after him?"

Dipper crossed his arms.

"What would be the point Mabel? He ran into the woods almost a half hour ago. He's long gone."

"Maybe if we build some sort of Grunkle tracking device?"

Dipper turned to Stanley

"What do think was wrong?"

Mabel hit her fist on the table.

"You should have ran after him Dipper!"

"Are you serious? I - there - there was no _way_ I could keep up."

Stanley rubbed his temples.

"Kids. That's enough."

Dipper crossed his arms.

"What are we gonna do?"

Stan sighed.

"We're gonna sit here in silence and give your grunkle a minute to think - alright? Yeesh." He put his head lower in his arms.

The younger twins shared a look. Mabel leaned forward in her seat.

"Grunkle Stan? Do you feel okay now? You remember Grunkle Ford, right?"

"Oh boy." Stan straightened. "Yes sweetie. I remember. I just wish we could somehow get a hold of the knucklehead."

Dipper and Mabel shared another look. Dipper rubbed the back of his neck.

"Well actually,"

Mabel crawled across the table and dug into Stan's suit coat.

"Whoa, what's going on here - ,"

Mabel pulled back to reveal a walkie talkie.

"We hid these on you."

Dipper nodded.

"We thought if you ever got lost and couldn't remember, we could use Grunkle Ford ... ,"

"Guess we got it backwards."

Stanley furrowed his brow and patted his coat down.

"How did I not feel  ... ," He shot the two twins an impressed look. "Alright you gremlins. I'll try not to think about _that_ too hard." He held out his hand and Mabel handed over the radio. 

***

"kzzzhhh - Come in - kkkzzzh - Earth to nerd, come in."

Ford lifted his head out of his hands and looked down.

"kkkzzzh - Earth to nerd - this is your common sense - kzzzhhh - I know it's been a while since we last talked - You probably thought I was dead didn't you? - kzzzzhhh."

Ford blinked in confusion, then started digging around his coat.

"I think its about time we got together - kkkzzzh - Had a discussion about your recent life choices - kzzzh - For instance, what's with the sweater? It's the middle of summer you nerd - kkkzzzh."

He pulled out a walkie talkie and stared at it.

"And you know, that trench coat isn't exactly doin' you any favors either -

\- I like the trench coat! -

\- Ignore that. Kzzhhh - That's your ah ... hey kids, what's the opposite of common sense? kkkzzzhh."

Ford pressed the button.

"Stanley? Why - why do I have a radio in my pocket?"

"Try not to think about it - kzzh - Hey poindexter, where are you? You've got the kids all crazy confused - kkkzzzh."

Ford pursed his lips, then he let out a shuddering breath. Looking around he stared into the trees and realized he couldn't discern his location.

"Um ... I'm - I'm not sure."

"Kkkzzzhh."

"Stanley?"

"Kkkzzzzh."

"I - I think I'm lost."

"For crying out loud - kkzzzh - You're a grown man Ford - kkkzzh - A grown man that's studied that forest more than anyone else on the _planet_ \- kkzzzh - Figure something out and get home - kkkzzh - _Now_ \- kkkzzzhh - ... ... ... ,"

Ford stared at the radio as it went silent. A breeze passed through the trees. He shivered and put the device down. Hugging his knees, he put his head down and realized he'd only made everything so, so much worse.

***

He made his way home, head low, feet heavy as they trudge on. Based on the position of the lowering sun he moved forward. It was getting dark. He didn't bother to hurry. Anything to hold off the inevitable.

Too soon, and the Mystery Shack came into view. He paused on the edge of the trees and watched from the shadows. He could still turn back. Leave. Never have to make his family deal with him again.

He closed his eyes, took a step back, and was about to walk away, when the door to the Shack flew open and Stanley came striding out.

Ford remembered earlier. Not being able to help his brother through the confusion - too stuck in his own problems. Being selfish. Even now he couldn't seem to stop making mistakes.

Stan came over to him, then stopped and looked him up and down.

Ford realized what a mess he must seem. Dirt all over his clothes, red rimmed eyes, tired posture. He tried to straighten himself and a ran a hand through his hair, avoiding his brother's gaze.

"I - ," Stan held up a hand and gestured to Ford. " - yeah, I don't know what to do with this."

"Stanley, I apologize for my behavior earlier. I shouldn't have ran."

"I just figured you were getting restless and went for a jog. Kinda a bad moment though,"

Ford looked up confused, till he saw Stan's deadpan look and recognized the sarcasm.

"Um, yes. I'm sorry." He rubbed his arm. It was getting cold.

"Yeah. Okay. And ... ?"

_And?_

"And I ... suppose I should also apologize for - ,"

"That's not what I meant genius."

Ford looked away with a frown.

"I don't understand - ,"

"Ford, something 's obviously got you all wound up. Now are you gonna tell me what the heck is goin' on?" He stepped into the cover of the trees and stood in front of Ford, waiting.

Ford crossed his arms and took a step back.

"It hardly matters - ,"

" _Stanford_." Stan scowled at him. "I didn't spend thirty years trying to get you back, just so you can sit around and _mope_. Now spit it out."

Ford pulled at his hair.

"Then why _did_ you bring me back Stanley? I don't - I don't understand. I've always been so terrible to you - ," he backed up against a tree and put a hand over his mouth. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I could never apologize enough ... ," he squeezed his eyes shut and fought back tears.

"Oh _yeesh_."

Ford looked up through his misty gaze to see his brother's jarred expression. Stanley stepped forward.

"Okay, alright." He reached for Ford. "Bring it in."

Ford felt shocked to find himself in his brother's arms. It didn't make sense. Why - why would Stanley - ?

"Why - why are you - You should _hate_ me - ,"

"Well I don't, so sorry to burst _that_ bubble."

Ford couldn't hold it in any longer. He let out a choked sob and melted into his brother's embrace.

Stan took in a deep breath and patted his back.

"It's alright. Let it all out."

"L-L-Lee."

"It's okay. I'm right here." 

***

When Ford's eyes seemed to have ran dry, Stanley slung an arm over his shoulder and led him back inside.

"Oh good," Dipper walked in. "he came back."

Mabel came up behind her brother.

"Grunkle Ford? What - what's wrong?"

Stanley rolled his eyes.

"Kids. Tell my brother that you don't hate him."

Dipper frowned.

"Of course."

Mabel furrowed her brows and twisted the edge of her sweater.

"Of course we don't _hate_ you Grunkle Ford."

The younger twins shared a look, then avoided their Grunkles' gaze.

Stanley looked between the two of them, confused. Ford closed his eyes. He felt like slinking away to his room.

"Kids - ?"

"It's okay Stanley." Ford stepped away from his brother. "I'll just leave you three be now." He turned to go.

"Hold it." Stan grabbed Ford by the arm and pulled him forward. "Alright what's going on. _Everyone_." He looked between them all. "There somethin' I'm missing?"

Ford tried to tug himself free, but Stanley held firm. In the next moment of silence, Ford wished his brother would just leave him be. It was obvious that whatever miracle prevented his brother's resentment, didn't apply to anyone else. It was clear from the looks on his grand-niece and nephew's faces that they felt uncomfortable. He knew they didn't want him around, and was happy to comply, if only Stan would let go.

And then he did. He dropped Ford's arm with a heavy sigh and stepped forward to kneel in front of Mabel and Dipper.

"I think I see what this is." He looked in their eyes. "Mabel. Dipper." He looked between the two. "You're upset with your great uncle Ford?"

"What?" Dipper's voice hitched in a suspicious crack.

Mabel played with her sleeve.

"Nooo."

Stan put a hand on their shoulders.

"Look kiddos. It's fine if you are. I guess my judgement 's a little skewed - for obvious reasons - but you two? I mean - my nerd brother _did_ help cause the _apocalypse_."

Dipper shook his head.

"No. It's not ... that ... ,"

Ford hid his hands deep in his arms. He felt like _disappearing_.

"Well," Stanley stood up. "Whatever it is. Do you think you can find it in ya to forgive him?" He put a hand next to his mouth and whispered conspiratorially. "Guy needs a hug."

Ford stared wide-eyed as Dipper and Mabel nodded their heads. A moment later and Ford tensed as they wrapped their arms around him. He stood there, jaw slack, and looked at Stanley. His brother stared back, expression nervous.

"And you know. Maybe ask if he'll forgive _us_."

Dipper and Mabel let go and looked at the floor in shame. Ford looked between them, bewildered beyond belief.

"What for?" he asked.

Stan shook his head.

"I dunno. Anything. _Everything_. There's plenty of blame to go around, trust me."

Ford's eyes began to water. Stan stepped forward, took off Dipper's hat, and ruffled both his grand-nibbling's hair.

"Blanket forgiveness. Here we go. Bring it - group hug." He pulled them all together.

"We love you Grunkle Ford."

"We forgive you."

"We're sorry for not doing it earlier."

"Sorry."

Stanley ruffled Ford's hair.

"Love ya, nerd."

Tears streamed down Ford's face. He wrapped his arms around his family. 

***

Ford sat at the table and stared at his journals. They were a written account of his failures. Of all his oversights and mistakes.

Stanley walked over with a soda can in one hand.

"Whoa. Thought the kid said those got charred."

Ford rubbed his chin.

"They seem to have returned since Weirdmegeddon." He let out a sigh. "I'm not entirely sure what to do with them."

"What - you don't want 'em?"

Ford shook his head.

"Not really. I - ," he hung his head. "I was a fool."

Stan clasped a hand on his shoulder.

"We're all fools bro. Some just more than others."

Ford slouched, till he looked up and realized Stan was talking about himself. He shook his head.

"You're no fool Stanley."

Stan shrugged.

"Eh. Sometimes." he took another sip of drink, then looked at the red covered books. "You know ... I say we _burn_ 'em." He shot his brother a grin.

"Burn what?" Dipper walked in. He looked at the Journals and his eyes widened. "Would you really?"

Ford pursed his lips. He picked up Journal one and stared at his reflection.

"Maybe." he murmured.

Dipper looked between the Journals and his Grunkles.

"I ... I think I have a better idea. If you still want to burn something that is ... ,"

***

"Death to the triangle!" Stanley shouted.

"Death to the triangle!" Everyone else intoned.

Ford grinned as his brother poured the gas onto the already blazing fire. He watched his many Bill Cipher artifacts go up in flames. His scrolls, carpet, window. Everything he'd ever collected. Gone. It felt ... far more uplifting than it should have.

He spent the night looking around himself and watching his family. They had even invited the man-child and cashier. Stan waggled his fingers as he spun a harrowing tale about some dangerous creature that lived in the woods. Ford was concerned it might be a little true.

Mabel sat next to him and showed off her braces as she continued to shove one smore after another into her mouth. She talked to him most of the night, telling stories about what else had happened over the summer.

His heart lurched as he realized there was so much he hadn't been apart of. And then his niece stared up at him with such a bright smile, and waved her hands in such a enthusiastic gesture as she continued to speak. Ford smiled down at her and went on listening. 

***

"Everyone 's here! The whole town! LOOK AT THEM ALL." Mabel bounced next to the window and looked out side. "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! This is so great!"

Dipper checked his watch.

"Okay, so at exactly noon we should be able to blow out our candles."

Stan raised a brow.

"Noon?"

Dipper glanced at his great uncle.

"We were born around eleven. Taking into account day-light savings - noon is when we're officially teens."

Stan rolled his eyes.

"Dipper. Today's your birthday. You're a teen _now_ \- ,"

"Nope!" Wendy came in. "Not a teen till you blow out those candles."

Dipper nodded.

"Right. At noon."

Stan shook his head with a smile and glanced at Ford. He tossed his thumb over his shoulder.

" _Nerd_."

Ford put a hand over his mouth to hide his grin.

Mabel jumped up and down.

"Guys! Eleven fifty-seven! Dipper's stupid schedule says now! LET'S GO! LET'S GO!"

"Hey." Dipper crossed his arms. "It's not stupid."

Mabel grabbed her brother's arm and pulled him out.

"It's totally stupid bro. Now LET'S GO."

Everyone piled out. Ford stepped forward, then caught a glance of the window. He froze, heart bobbing in his throat.

Stanley stopped and looked back.

"Everything okay over there?"

He looked from the outside to his brother. His confidence fell and he took a step back. Stan frowned. He took in a breath then came forward.

"What's wrong Stanford?"

Ford picked at his extra fingers.

"I don't know if I can face the _whole town_." He looked away. "Not after everything I've done."

Stan clapped a hand on his arm.

"Hey. Don't worry if everyone out there hates your guts."

Ford shot him a glare. Stan held up his hands.

"Not saying they _do_. But if they did. So what? Doesn't matter. Not like everyone just adored _me_. Before ... you know." Stan shrugged. "If anyone gives you a problem. Left hook. And if you won't. I will. See? It's fine. Now are you gonna come and celebrate those two's birthday? Or are you gonna hide in here?"

Ford shook his head and smiled sadly. The way Stanley put it sounded so simple.

But maybe it was.

He followed his brother outside. 


End file.
